This work of adult fiction, loosely based on characters portrayed by Russell Crowe, includes adult language and experiences; you have been warned.  No copyright infringement on the original work is intended.
Copyright Diana Walker 2006.

Author's Note:  This chapter leans heavily on Diana's interrogation in  A Serious Chat with an Old Friend.  Click on the title to refresh your memory.  I highly recommend it.  Diana





The Alex Ross sitting across from me is a quieter man than I’d expected.  He’s out of the shadier dealings he’s had in the past.  TEO made sure of that.  We’d put him on retainer to develop research on Mexican affairs.  Dino hadn’t been too keen on the retainer at the time, but within months Ross had heard about a potential kidnapping, gave us the name of the target, and we found the group carrying the policy and warned them.  A few phone calls and we had chits in the bank.  Because of Ross and his information, we haven’t negotiated in Mexico since he started.
 
Max and I have been together for so long I no longer notice our physical similarities.  Alex Ross is a different story.  Our hair is the same color; my eyes look back at me.  His are still haunted with some unresolved wrong or longing just as mine were before Diana entered my life and filled my heart.  When my eyes flash in anger, glaze in lewd day dreaming, or twinkle in delight these days, it’s authentic, not some façade to masquerade how empty I am.  Ross hasn’t been that fortunate.
 
I seemed slightly taller than he did when Dino brought him in to meet me face to face.  Because of the Mexican connection, Dino has been his primary contact; they’re also fellow Marines.  From the few times I’ve talked to Alex on the phone, our voices are different beyond the different accents.  His is softer, less gruff than mine. 
 
Dino says Ross hasn’t brought up his past.  He thinks he resembles Crowe, but that’s as far as it goes; he doesn’t seem to notice – or else hasn’t commented on – the fact that both Max and I also bear a startling resemblance to our common progenitor.  Max, Dino, and I have decided not to confuse his world with explanations he’s nowhere close to being ready to consider.  Diana and Reags have agreed.
 
Whilst I’d been taking his measure, Ross had been briefing me on the background regarding the current threat level in Chiapas.  Unless he saved the most crucial until last, he was close to the end. 
 
Sooze buzzed.  “Dee’s here.  Do you guys need some more time?”
 
I motioned for Ross to answer.  It was his briefing.  If he wanted to continue, Diana would understand.
 
“I’m about finished.  Terry can read the details of it later.”
 
Diana came through the door seconds later.  As I rose to greet her, Ross looked to the door.  He sat up straighter from the slouch he’d been in since he started talking and made a half-hearted effort to rise.  First, the informal attitude during his briefing and now not rising when a lady walked into the room?  I was growing more annoyed of the man by the moment. 
 
Her back was to Ross when she smiled at me.  Her smile when her eyes caught mine was just for me.  This was the first time we had greeted each other in a professional setting with another person in the room.  It was slightly awkward.  I bent to kiss her cheek; she seemed unyielding.
 
She turned from me but held my hand behind her.  “Diana, let me introduce Alex Ross.  Ross, this is Diana Walker.”  Her hand went limp and dropped mine long before she moved towards him with rigid, halting steps.
 
She held out her hand to him, and he took it.  “Mr. Ross.”
 
“Diana …Ms. Walker.”
 
Diana has taught me enough about baseball that I know it’s three strikes, and you’re out.  He’d had two with me – his slouch briefing me and not rising when a lady walked in the room.  Mr. Ross just had his fourth strike.  Diana’s reaction to him had been his third, and his fourth was trying to ignore a lady’s tone for the interchange.  I could only imagine the look Diana had given him to get him back on track.  She can be withering.  Diana left the desk area and sat uncomfortably on the couch.  I followed her lead and sat beside her.  Ross turned in his chair as Diana spoke to him across the expanse.
 
“Ross, is this your first time in Dallas?  How do you like it?”  She was speaking in her social voice, the one that keeps her civil but barely.  She never uses it with someone she’s only just met; she assumes they are friendly until they prove otherwise several times.  She’d sounded warmer to my drugged ear when she talked to Miranda the night she visited when I was recovering last summer.  What the fuck is going on here? 
 
His reply was slow to start and halting; his gaze lingered a little too long for my taste.  She read my temper rising; it was only her hand close to mine that calmed me.  Diana discreetly curved her hand under mine and cupped into my palm; that is, it would have been discreet if the bastard hadn’t been staring at her.
 
“I’ve been in and out of the airport several times over the last few years.”  He was subdued but somehow disrespectful at the same time.  “It’s all right.”
 
“Had any earthquakes lately?  LA has to have a big one for us to hear about it.”
 
Diana was holding her own with him.  She’d let me know if she wanted me to defend her.  It was hard to fight my instincts.
 
“None of them have even knocked china cups off the bookcase.”
 
“Has Vin Scully said whether he’ll be back with the Dodgers next year?  He’s outlasted so many broadcast partners, and it wouldn’t be the Dodgers without him.”
 
“I think he’ll die in the booth.”  Ross sagged back into his chair.  I’m glad one of us relaxed.  “He’s been the one constant in their line up.  Win, lose; Vin’s always there.”
 
“Has he finally stopped saying ‘This may be my last year’?”  Diana loves Vin Scully’s voice and the way he calls a ball game.  She even bought the DVD of Costner’s flick, For the Love of the Game, so she could hear him.  She claims my voice is better than Vin’s, and I choose to believe her.  I’ll have to be sure we’re never in the same room with the dean of the Dodger announcing staff; it would be embarrassing to have Diana leave me stranded for Vin.    
 
“He’s cut way back on his announcing duties.  He’s doing some management stuff, I hear.”
 
“Besides the Dodgers, what are you doing for fun?”
 
“I take a run down to Mexico every so often.  I stop into Eréndira from time to time.  Sometimes I’m down there for your old man.”
 
I felt Diana bristle beside me.  She wouldn’t take Ross on for herself but was willing to because of me.
 
“Yes, Terry told me you work for the firm periodically.”  Her voice was so low that Ross had to lean forward to hear her clipped, distinct words.  He’s in for it now if he’s not careful. 
 
“Too bad you don’t get out on the front lines terribly often.”  I could hear her wanting to say, ‘And get your fucking balls shot off.  Oh, I forgot; you don’t have any.’ 
 
There IS history here …why had she never mentioned him?  “Perhaps at dinner, Terry can tell you some interesting stories of honor and courage.”
 
Three very angry, confused people glared at different spots on the floor.
 
Ross gave and stood up.  “I still need to talk to Dino before I push off.  It’s been a pleasure.  Thursday at seven?  I’ll get the directions from him.”
 
 
DIANA
“That’s one contract that won’t be renewed.”  I didn’t think some of those words could be pronounced so precisely through clenched teeth, but Terry managed it.
 
“Maybe he was having a bad day.  Maybe having a woman in the office when he’s doing business ticked him off.  Who knows?  Who cares?”
 
“I know you didn’t need protecting.  You did a fine job of sparring with the prick, but why didn’t you want me to beat him to a bloody pulp? …and why do I feel as if I want to do just that?”
 
“You’re trying to protect me again.  He’s technically your employee.  He could sue the firm.  He could press criminal charges against you.  He’s a little shit.  He’s not worth it.  He’s not worthy of your wiping your feet on him.”  I spit out the words with distaste.
 
“We do know a fine, criminal defense attorney, and perhaps Ellie could use the diversion.”  Our anger finally broke, and our seated version of the American Gothic painting relaxed and laughed.  I leaned on his shoulder, and he draped me all over him, open door be damned.  Let the bastard walk by and see us.
 
“I don’t think additional, avoidable cases are why Dino’s seeing Ellie.”  I almost didn’t get the words out with Terry’s lips on mine.
 
He cracked me up, and I laughed AT him.  “Ha!  A pash?  You were as uncomfortable as I was when I first walked in.  I hadn’t thought how to greet you in the office.  When I meet you at social events, it’s perfectly acceptable to hug you and give you a quick kiss with strangers around.  When it comes to office protocol, I’m lost.  I’m so conservative from enforcing company RULES, I think a hug with a handshake is pretty brazen.”
 
“That’s the problem!  You’ve never lived with the CEO.  We get to do whatever we damn well please whenever we damn well please.  From now on, short of dropping to your knees, you can kiss me hello however you want irrespective of who's here.  It’s a new company rule.  Enforce that!”
 
“I think that’s a bit much, but how about a kiss like this?”  It started chastely enough, but Terry got his pash.
 
 
DINO
After Ross left the office, Terry stopped and leaned against my door jamb.
 
“How important is Alex Ross to your operation?”  I looked at him, waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Terry Thorne doesn’t ask a question like that, unless he has an agenda. 
 
“He can be replaced.”  Tio nodded once and walked down the hall. 
 
 
DIANA
I’d showered and dressed in my normal attire after finishing my barn chores.  The shower let me think; anything other than Levis, untucked t-shirt, and barefoot would scream “Dangerous Moments Ahead” to Terry.  I wanted to give him a few moments of peace before he had to hear my news.  I had his scotch half hidden on the dining room table.
 
He looked over my shoulder at the coffee table.  “What’s all this?”
 
“Dinner’s going to be late tonight.  I thought you might be hungry now.”
 
“I’m not.”
 
OK, fine.  He’d had a chance to think over what had happened with Alex, and he had questions, which I’d have gladly answered if he’d asked in the office even though I wasn’t ready immediately after the weird three-way conversation.  I’d thought long and hard on the way home.  I was ready now; apparently, he was, too.  I handed him his scotch.
 
“I think you’re going to need that.”
 
He threw back the scotch standing in the entry hall.  I went to the bar and got the bottle.  I brought it back to the lounge where Terry sat on the couch, chewing absently on one of the subs I’d made in spite of his comment about not being hungry.  He looked at the bottle standing next to his glass and pushed both of them away.
 
“Are you ready to tell me?”  His arms were on his thighs, his strong back holding the weight of the world on it, his shoulders hunched to ward off the psychological blows he knew were coming.  His head was down; his eyes closed.  His thumbs were hooked in the corners of his eyes pushing on his brows. 
 
“The long or short version?”  I sat in the corner of the couch pulled into as close to a fetal position as I could. 
 
“Give me the money shot first and then explain it to me.”
 
“I knew Alex Ross a long time ago under another name.  Alex is Howard Townsend.”
 
He was quiet and motionless for so long I didn’t know what to think.  I started talking.
 
“Howard Townsend - Ward - my former fiancé?  Do you remember what I said about him?”
 
“Every fucking word.  Very clearly.”  He opened his eyes and turned his head heavily to look at me.  His eyes were full of sorrow.  “You shouldn’t have stopped me today.  Every time you retreated from me, I blamed him and promised myself that if I ever met Howard, I would beat the shit out of him for the way he treated you.”
 
“Don’t blame him.  He didn’t form me; Mom and Dad did that.  He polished the surface.  I had to get through the Wards of the world to appreciate you.”
 
Terry slipped off his shoes, straightened up, propped his back on the arm of the sofa, and stretched out.  The tips of his toes brushed mine in a tickling gesture.  His voice was rough and gravely and deep when he held out his hand to me and said, “C’mere, Lady.  We might as well be comfortable for the rest of it.”
 
I uncoiled and launched myself at him with more force than I had intended; my shoulder hit him in the solar plexus.  I was overjoyed at his restrained reaction to my news.  His ‘Uuuf’ as I landed on him struck me as funny until I saw him having trouble breathing. 
 
I’d seen or read somewhere if a person had the wind knocked out of them, you’re supposed to loosen anything constricting.  I remembered seeing some guy lifting the much smaller, breathless kid by his pants waistband to get air into him.  I couldn’t do that, but I could get his belt and pants unfastened to make it easier for him to breathe. 
 
He pushed me aside with my job half finished – his belt and pants button were undone.  He sat up, leaned over, coughed, wheezed, breathed in deeply, rocked forward, waved me away, wheezed, tried to breathe, and coughed again.  I stayed away except for my hand on his back and my murmured ‘I’m sorrys.’  He went through the routine – trying to breathe, coughing, wheezing – several times before he could sit up again. 
 
When he caught his breath, he laughed at my frantic efforts but not my worried look and resettled us intertwined on the couch.  “Next time try launching differently.  Uncoil first; you won’t gain so much velocity.  I should be glad you only knocked the wind out of me; at least you missed my bits.”  His stronger voice assured me I hadn’t inflicted permanent damage; at least he could talk.
 
He signaled his ability and readiness to listen with a question.  “When did you recognize him?”
 
“When I dropped your hand.”
 
“You know Ross’s introductory dinner here, at the house, is out of the question.”
 
“Why?”  I flared.  “I’ve already cleaned and bought most of the groceries.”  I sighed in annoyance.
 
“You’ll clean again because of all the construction mess.  I don’t want you working yourself to death to make Howard comfortable.  I won’t have that fucker in our home.  It’s a symbol.” 
 
“If we have this dinner at all, we’re still the hosts.  You’ll have to be nice to him.  Terry, I knew him a long time ago.  The opposite of love isn’t hate.  Anger is a stop along the way to getting over a break-up.  The opposite of love is no feeling.  I don’t have any feelings for him any more.  He can’t hurt me now unless he hurts you.”
 
“Let me get this right.  When we have a row, you’re saying ‘I love you.’”
 
“In an odd way, yes.”
 
He nodded sagely then shook his head.  I still confuse him.  Why should he be any different?  I still confuse myself.
 
Terry latched onto the possibility of calling off the dinner all together.  “I’ll tell everyone tomorrow we’re canceling.  The remodeling is the perfect excuse.  Socially acceptable and perfectly understandable.”
 
“We can’t.  Do you want to look so insecure in his eyes that you can’t be nice to my ex-fiancée?”  I tried kidding him.  “Look at how nice I was to Miranda.  Do you want to let me be better at social graces than you?  Where’s your competitive spirit, Boomer?  I know you can do this.”
 
“We can’t find a restaurant to handle us in two days.”
 
“Boomer, Boomer, Boomer.  We’re only ten people.  Maybe only eight, if you continue this tanty and don’t go and Ellie can’t make it.  Bob’s Steak House has a nice little alcove already set aside.  I did that with one phone call.  Can you imagine what I can do with a few more?”
 
“You knew I’d balk at having him here.”
 
“I was pretty sure you wouldn’t like it.  I wasn’t sure I wanted him here.  The son of a bitch would probably get drunk and have to spend the night.  He’s been known to do that in the past.”
 
“We could always make him sleep in the barn.”
 
Now that picture tickled me.  “Maybe the rat snakes you can’t catch might like him.”  I liked imagining that.  A lot.  I threw away what little Animal Planet and National Geographic channels had taught me about snakes eating their meals headfirst.  I was deep in my fantasy of a dead drunk Ward being slowly eaten by a large black snake from the feet up when Terry intruded. 
 
He smiled at me, a genuine smile.  “They aren’t big enough to eat him, Diana.”
 
“You sure know how to spoil a girl’s fun.”  I left behind my Ward revenge fantasy and returned to my wonderful, real man.
 
“How ostentatious do you want to be?”  He’d capitulated; dinner was assured. 
 
“Not very.  The others need a chance to get to know Alex and not be influenced by a relationship I had a lifetime ago.  People can change.  Maybe he has.”
 
If today was any indication, the Ward of old was still lurking under the surface.  He’d tried to dominate me, make me feel inadequate, and be a general jerk.  Today had been an odd situation; seeing each other again blind-sided us both.
 
Terry sighed.  “Pick a restaurant you’d like, work your magic with the maitre d’, and tell everyone about the change.”
 
“It’s the right thing to do,” I tried to reassure him.
 
“I know, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.  Are you ready to tell me about today?”
 
“Yeah, I am.”  He rearranged pillows; I snuggled into him. 
 
“When I recognized him, I felt like I’d been kicked in the gut by one of the horses.  I didn’t know how I felt about seeing him again.  I knew I didn’t want to drag you into it until I did.  I tried to be civil to him.  
 
“I couldn’t bear even walking past him to sit down.  You were forced to move to the seating area to accommodate me.  I didn’t mind him taking shots at me ….”
 
“I sure as hell did.”
 
“He did make me angry when he made the crack about you.  He had no right to drag you into the twisted mess.  It was almost as if he was jealous.  He has no right to be jealous.  He threw me away; he didn’t want me.” 
 
I sighed.  “It was a long time ago.  I never expected to see him again.  I was surprised; that’s all.  I wasn’t trying to hide any of it from you.  I needed some time to sort through what I thought and felt.”
 
“I know you weren’t hiding.  I’ve learned to give you the time and space.”
 
“And I’m grateful for that.”  I thought about my approach to the next topic. 
 
“How …,” I blew out my breath and tried again.  “Would you mind …?”  Maybe the third time’s the charm. 
 
“You’ve already told me the tough part, Diana.  Spit it out.”
 
“I want to talk to him …alone.”
 
“Okey dokey.  When do you want us to see him?”
 
“I meant it.  Alone.  By myself.  I think I can diffuse this situation.”
 
“I’m sure you can, but you won’t be going without me.”
 
“Boomer, you’re smoldering right now.  You’ll make it worse.”
 
“Then we’re back to canceling dinner.”
 
“We’re not doing that either.  I won’t have it here, but I am hostessing a dinner for Alex Ross Thursday at seven for up to ten people with or without you.”
 
“If you’re dead set on doing this, I’ll be there.  Make the reservation for eight adults.  I’ll tell Sooze the situation tomorrow.  I don’t think she’ll want Dolores exposed to a tense situation.  I’ll let you know tomorrow if Sooze still wants to come.”
 
“God knows I don’t want Dolores exposed to what happens when relationships end.  Let her keep her teenage fantasies a while longer.” 
 
“Agreed.  I won’t give Sooze the specifics about why there will be strained relations.  I won’t air our dirty laundry in public.”
 
“Your dirty laundry.  You’re the one who’s having a problem with him.  Besides all three of your office mates will already be speculating.  Tell one of them – Sooze is the logical choice – and let them know what’s going on.  Remember, lies of omission?  They shouldn’t have to try to figure out what’s bugging you; they need to hear it from you.”
 
He squeezed my hand.  “Aside from defusing the situation, why else do you want to talk to him, without me?”  If I didn’t know better, I’d think Terry’s trying to bait me into escalating what has been a reasoned negotiation into another shouting match between us.  He’s trying to push me to drop my guard again.  Well, surprise, surprise, Mr. Thorne.  My guard with you is already down.  I don’t have to be whipped into an emotional frenzy to tell you what’s on my mind.
 
“Terry, you don’t have to push anymore.”  Terry smiled sheepishly at having been caught and shrugged his shoulders.
 
“Habit.  Sorry.”
 
“I don’t want you there while I’m trying to calm him down and establish some ground rules.  As to my other reasons for wanting to talk to him, it’s not to talk over old times or to catch up since we last saw each other.  I want to thank him for pushing me away.  I want you to hear those reasons.”
 
With my hands on each side of his face, I began my explanation.  “Let’s look at a flow chart on this.”  He nodded.  “I stay with Ward.  My whole life changes.  I’m not the same woman I am today. 
 
“Let’s say I stay with him, and we marry.  Because he knows what buttons to push on me, I lose every shred of self-respect I managed to keep from my folks trying to beat it out of me.  Chances are I do meet you because you’d check up on Alex, eventually.  You’d feel sorry for Alex for having such a mousy little wife.
 
“Maybe Ward and I divorce before I meet you.  I move to Texas to rebuild my life.  I’m years behind on my personal rebuilding from where I was when I met you.  I wouldn’t have been a woman who would have interested you.
 
“Neither one of those outcomes has me, here, now, in your arms.  Threads and choices, Terry.  Choices you make earlier in your life close doors later; doors you can’t even comprehend would exist.  The choices also open up wide vistas of possibilities.” 
 
He was ready for me.  “There’s at least one more possibility.  You were already on your way to shaking off the old paradigm when you left him.  You stand up to Ward, and he backs down.  You marry and have a good life.”
 
“Let’s follow your possibility, and I become somewhat like the woman I am today.  When I meet you, I’m married to Ward.  You wouldn’t touch me; I’m someone else’s wife.  Or you and I have some sordid, little, inconsequential affair.”  I’d have been another nail the coffin for Terry’s soul.
 
Terry’s eyes were far away.  “I can’t imagine going back to that lifeless man.”
 
“You wouldn’t be going back.  You’d have nothing to compare.  You’d be muddling through; I’d be getting by.  Ward did me a favor by his screwing around on me; he had to know I’d find out.  I don’t want to be anywhere else but with you.  I want to thank him.”
 
Terry’s warm, engulfing embrace told me more about his acceptance of my rationale than the words he couldn’t speak. 
 
“Talk to him at dinner,” he encouraged me.  “You should be able to draw him aside.  I’ll entertain the rest of the troops.” 
 
Our silence engulfed us for a long while, comfortable together in that we had managed to get through a difficult conversation without hurt feelings, shouts, or tears.  Terry’s strong thumb smoothed comforting circles on my bare back.  One of us should hop up and get a beer, but the thought of separating right now is singularly unappealing.  He took his hand from my head where he had held it tightly to his chest and single handedly poured himself another scotch.  He held the glass to my lips and carefully poured a small amount into my mouth then savored the rest as he finished what he had poured. 
 
He finally broke our silence.  “When you and Reags talked, you described the verbal and emotional abuse he put you through.  You didn’t mention anything physical.”  He gently stroked my face.  “Did he ever hurt you?”
 
I slowly shook my head between his chest and hand.  “No.  I don’t think we ever cared enough to fight.”
 
His chest sank beneath my cheek.  “Good.  Will you promise me?”
 
“Yes.  Whatever you need.”
 
“Don’t be alone with him.  If you won’t have me with you when you talk to him, have someone else close.”
 
“I’d rather talk to him without so many ears around, but I won’t be alone with him.  I won’t worry you that way.”
 
 
REAGAN
I turned the corner into the lane and almost drove off into the ditch.  Dee’s truck was sitting in front of the house.  She hadn’t called me at school, and my cell had been on all day.  I didn’t know what was wrong, but I did know something wasn’t right.  She got out of the truck as I pulled into the drive; her body language – shoulders rounded, chin down, hands in her pockets and looking as if she’d lost three inches in height - told me my initial impression was correct.  She walked toward me as she spoke.
 
“I’m sorry for just showing up …am I interrupting anything?  Did you have plans for the afternoon?”
 
“Nothing other than finding out what’s got you down here.  You look as if you could use a drink.”  She nodded as she fell into step beside me.
 
“Yeah …and you can throw away the cap to the bourbon bottle.  I’ll probably drink all you have.  I’m sorry.  I’ll replace it.”
 
“Stop apologising and tell me what’s happened.  Did you and Terry have a fight?”
 
“No.  We’re fine.  Alex Ross is Ward Townsend …have you met him yet?”  I stopped and turned to look at her.
 
“No.”  We were in the house, and I grabbed the bourbon from the bar after dropping my briefcase on the table by the door.  She followed me into the kitchen and watched as I poured bourbon, added water and ice, and handed it to her.  I could have used a stiff scotch myself but got myself a glass of orange juice, wishing I wasn’t trying to get pregnant.  Usually when Dee’s really pissed, she drinks straight bourbon.  I decided I should make the first couple of drinks for her before she started pouring for herself.  If I made the first drink or two for her, I could keep her relatively sober until we could get this somewhat sorted.  Like most of us, she gets maudlin when she drinks heavily, and I needed her coherent for as long as possible.  I knew either I’d be calling Terry later to come pick her up or she’d be spending the night here.  There was no way in Hell I was letting her drive anywhere tonight if she had more than the one or two drinks I’d pour for her.  I shoved her toward the lounge, and we sat.
 
Alex Ross is Ward Townsend.  That son of a bitch.  After her interrogation last year, I’d prayed she live the rest of her life without ever seeing him again.  I sat for a minute, thinking over what I knew of Alex Ross from his film.  He’d seemed basically shy where women were concerned but very respectful and protective of them.  Something had been going on in his life when he and Dee were together to have made him treat her as he did.  The question was what? 
 
“Didn’t you recognise him back then as being Alex Ross?”
 
“I was thinking about that on the way over.  I didn’t even recognize him when I saw Rough Magic on the tube with you, but by then I didn’t even remember what Ward looked like.  When we were seeing each other, I didn’t know Crowe existed.”  Diana shrugged at the vagaries of chance.
 
I could come back to Alex’s personality change later.  Right now, I needed to know what else Dee knew and what she might – or might not – have told Terry.
 
“Does Terry know?” 
 
She cut her eyes round at me.  “Oh, yeah.  I told him last night.”
 
“How did he take it?”
 
“Surprisingly well.” 
 
I rolled my eyes.  “Dee, I wasn’t asking you what his reaction was to you.  I was asking how he feels about the fact that Ward is Alex.  What was his reaction to that?” 
 
“He’s so mad he could chew up nails and spit out enough tacks to lay carpet in the entire house.  Not that Alex is Ward.”  She spit out the name.  “Aliases are a part of the game.  He’s not even angry they don’t know all of Alex’s alter egos.  He’s still pissed about the way Ward treated me.  Let me tell you about what happened in the office.”
 
“I can hardly wait.” 
 
Moreover, I meant that.  “He verbally attacked me again …it was veiled, but it was there.”
 
“With Terry sitting there?”
 
“Yep …I had to hold him down.  I was so proud of him …he didn’t jump in and try to save me.  He let me fight the battle myself, and I did a damned good job of it!”  I grinned at her.
 
“I hate to sound trite, but you’ve come a long way, Baby.” 
 
She actually laughed.  “I have, haven’t I?”
 
“Farther than you realise.  So if you did a good job of standing up to Ward, and you know Terry isn’t angry at you, why did you drive all the way down here?”
 
“To give you a heads-up.  It could get ugly at dinner.  If Ward puts his foot one inch over the line, I don’t know what Terry will do.  To say he’s looking for a fight is probably the greatest understatement I’ve ever made in my life.  Dinner’s not going to be at the house …Terry laid down the law.  Ward will not step a foot into our home.”  She held up her hands and began ticking off reasons on her fingers.
 
“Okay …why am I here.  First, dinner will be at Bob’s Steakhouse, same time, but at Bob’s.  Second, I wanted to enlist you as my ally in keeping Terry from tearing Ward apart if he gets pissy …if Ward gets pissy that is, not Terry.  Third, you need to tell Max what’s going on; Terry’s too furious to talk about it right now.  Last, oh hell, I talked myself out of the last reason on the way over here.” 
 
I looked at her.  “Well, what the Hell was the last reason?” 
 
She looked a bit sheepish when she answered.  “I was so afraid Terry would be angry with me when he found out that Alex is Ward.”  That was totally predictable for her.
 
“Dee, Terry isn’t your dad.  Why would you think he’d be angry because Ward showed up here?  He’s the one who invited Ross to stop by whilst he was in Dallas.  He didn’t know Ross is Ward.  Terry’s the man who loves you; he would never blame you or be angry with you for something over which you had no control.  ”
 
“I know …I figured that out on the way down here.”  We laughed.
 
“Okay, that’s sorted.  What do we need to do about Ross’ dinner?”
 
“I need help in keeping Terry calm...  Terry can’t let it go.  He’s on a low simmer even after I explained the silver lining in the Ward storm cloud.  It won’t take much from Ward for Terry to come unhinged.  Can you grab him when we’re having drinks and reinforce rationality and civility to him?  And warn Max ahead of time that brute strength may be required?”
 
“Why are you so afraid for Terry?  He could probably beat Ross into the ground.”
 
“Because as long as I’ve known him, Ward has always carried.  Back then, he told me it was because he transported state of the art electronics gear.  Who knows if what he told me was true?  If Terry takes a swing at him, I’m scared to death Ward will shoot him.” 
 
“Why do you think that?  Is he that much of a hothead?”
 
“Reags, he’s totally unpredictable …he always has been.  Look at the way he treated me before and after he put the ring on my finger.  Obviously, I never knew him at all.  I came not to trust him when we were engaged, and I certainly don’t trust him now.  The look in his eyes scares me.”  She looked round the room and then out the French doors toward the north end of the property before her eyes returned to my face.  She gave me a grin as she spoke.
 
“So, what have you been up to lately?”
 
 
Dee stayed and nursed the one drink until Maximus arrived, and she walked out the front door to meet him as she left.  I watched her hug him and saw him laugh.  She got into her car and reversed down the lane.  I’d held my anger until Dee left, and now I picked up the vase on the end table and threw it with all my strength across the room.  It hit the wall, shattering just as Maximus walked in the door.
 
 
MAXIMUS
I had been well briefed by Cassandra prior to this dinner, and I had briefed Dino.  I had promised her I would not carry a weapon this night, but in my conversation with Dino, he assured me he would.  I had expressed my regrets to Dino that Ellen Hughes’ first dinner with all of us would be so fraught with tension.  His response had been that so long as we stayed on the ragged edge of violence – and he hoped that would be the case – he would tell her nothing of Alex Ross and Diana’s prior relationship. 
 
Terry and Diana were already seated in our private dining area when Cassandra and I arrived at the restaurant.  They were speaking quietly with only their postures to show their underlying tension.  They rose to greet us, and their masques descended.  We gave our drink orders to the waiter.  I smiled when Cassandra complained about being relegated to non-alcoholic libations, and we all laughed.  I noted that Terry ordered scotch rather than his preferred beer, a clear indication that he considered this a formal evening to be endured instead of the warm dinner we had originally envisioned.  Dino and Ellen arrived as the waiter returned with our drinks and gave him their orders.  I looked at my watch; they were five minutes late.  Cassandra raised an eyebrow at me as she hugged Ellen and Dino and then spoke.
 
“You guys are late …did you stop for a quiche in the car?”  Fortunately, Ellen and Cassandra are old friends, and she understood the joke as we all laughed.  I was grateful to her for attempting to dispel some of the tension that pervaded the room as does a foul odour.  My wife takes on more of Jack Aubrey’s speech patterns with each passing day …perhaps I should begin monitoring their e-mails.  When the laughter subsided, I turned to her.
 
“How often do you correspond with Jack Aubrey?”  That brought another round of laughter that died quickly as Alex Ross walked insolently into the room in his rumpled suit; it was now 1915 hours.  Terry walked to greet him, his arm firmly round Diana’s waist.  I suspect others may have interpreted Ross’ body posture as arrogance; for my part, I interpreted it as a man deeply unsure of himself and on the edge of despair.
 
“Good evening, Ross.  So happy you could work us into your busy schedule.”  He smiled down at Diana; this was the first time the tightness round his mouth had softened since we had arrived.  “I’m sure you remember Diana Walker.”  Ross nodded.
 
“Yeah.  Good to see you guys again.  What time’s dinner?  I’m hungry.  Can a guy get a drink in here?”  Terry readied for combat.  Diana stepped forward and into the breach.
 
“We were planning on sitting down for dinner at seven-thirty.  Our waiter stepped out for a moment …I’ll find him.  What would you like to drink?”
 
“Don’tcha remember?”
 
“Sorry, I don’t recall.”
 
“Coupla of tequila shooters will do fine.”  Diana left the room, and Terry guided Ross toward where the rest of us were seated.  Dino and I stood as Terry made the introductions to Cassandra and Ellen.
 
“Let me introduce you to our guests.” 
 
“Allow me to present Reagan Espan-Kavanagh …Max’s wife and Diana’s dearest friend.”  Cassandra smiled as she extended her hand.
 
“It’s nice to finally meet you, Ross.  I’ve heard so much about you.”  I saw Ellen watching, and she took her cue from my incredibly well bred wife, a lady who can eviscerate with a softly spoken word.  Ellen extended her hand as Terry turned to her.
 
“Ellen Hughes, Alex Ross.”
 
“Mr. Ross.  What a delight …the last time I saw anything as cute as you was when they slapped my niece on her backside the day she was born.”  Ross took one step back before answering though he kept a smile on his face.
 
“Unless I’ve lost my powers of perception, I think you just called me an ass.”  Ellen smiled.
 
“Why, whatever would make you think that?”  Diana returned to the room, handing Ross one glass and placing the second on the table near his hand.  Terry extended his hand to her, and she took it, moving to his side.  Ross downed the first shot in one gulp, spluttered, then coughed.  Terry moved to pound his back, but Diana stayed his hand before it came close to touching Ross. 
 
Diana smiled in solicitation.  “I’m sorry, but I don’t recall your usual brand.”  Ross flushed darkly as he pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. 
 
I spoke first.  “Ross, you will have to take that outdoors.  Smoking became illegal in Texas restaurants several years past.”
 
“We’re not in the restaurant; we’re in a private room.” 
 
Diana smiled as she spoke.  “We’re inside the building; the law still applies.”  She turned to me.  “Max, why don’t you step outside with Alex and me?”  The three of us walked toward the door, as Ross spoke as much to himself as to the rest of us.
 
“This is gonna be one long night for the so-called guest of honour.”
 
 
ROSS
My life never fulfilled its early potential.  Nagasaki saw to that.  A promising career as a journalist for Stars and Stripes got me into the bombed city within days and changed my life.
 
Yes, we needed something definitive to end the war with Japan.  They were avowed to fight to the last man from island to island up the archipelago; that would have resulted in many more deaths on both sides than the bombs caused.  However, the deaths would have been soldiers’ deaths, not kids. 
 
When I was discharged, I didn’t settle down and go to work like so many of my generation.  I got tired of answering my family’s questions about what I was doing so I drifted cross country until I was as far away from what I had known as possible.  The drifting became a habit.  I became a stringer for several newspapers; it paid the bills.  I didn’t need more.  I went where I wanted, wrote a little, and someone else paid.  All in all, it was a sweet deal.
 
Then Myra came along, both of us drifters of a sort.  We tried being married for a while.  The Chronicle offered me a regular beat, and we worked our life around a reporter’s odd hours.  Myra felt called to join the tree-huggers when the environmental movement started, and she left.  The last I heard she had joined a commune near Bodega Bay.  It’s hard for me to imagine her without furs and jewelry.  I gave her everything I could.
 
I started drifting again – stringer, PI – it didn’t matter what I did as long as I had enough for a beer or a bottle of tequila.  I took the path of least resistance.
 
When I met Diana in Marina del Rey, she was hungry to marry; she was also running away from something.  At the only Thanksgiving we spent together, I understood what she was trying to avoid.  From the moment we walked into her parents’ house, she changed; she was treated like a child.  More astonishing to me was her acceptance of the role.  Her mother criticized what she was wearing in everyone’s hearing.  Her father told her she shouldn’t be watching football; she ought to be in the kitchen helping.  Her cousins kept handing her babies with dirty diapers.  She faded away in front of my eyes.  She was no longer the vibrant woman I knew. 
 
When Myra left, I swore my heart wouldn’t be broken again.  In my next girlfriend, I would control the interactions; I would not saunter through the affair.  I would have to change completely, but chameleons change their coloration yet remain chameleons; why not me?  The Walkers showed me Diana was ripe for the picking and the method to subjugate her.
 
I slipped into the ‘superior being’ role easily; with my first criticism of her, Diana’s reaction reinforced my outer transformation.  She made it easy for me to drift into the role. 
 
She shocked me when she left.  I took her kind, giving nature as subservience, and I got sloppy.  She didn’t leave until she had rock, solid proof I was playing around on her.  I didn’t think she had it in her.
 
I knew when she left, even though Diana didn’t love me, she would never have hurt me.  I didn’t have to change to keep her.  I was foolish in trying to control her; I’ve paid for my half-baked idea every day since with a partial life drifting on the easiest current. 
 
 
MAXIMUS
We walked out the door and toward the standing ash cans outside the entry.  There were a number of people clustered round the right one, and as Diana turned left, Ross turned right.  I stopped him with a word.
 
“The lady has turned to the left, Mr. Ross.  Let us follow her lead.”  I took him by the arm, turning him and moving my hand up to feel beneath his left armpit for a weapon.  He stopped and turned to me.
 
“What the fuck are you doing?”
 
“Keep your voice down, Mr. Ross.  I am checking to see if you are carrying a side arm …and you are.”  Before he could protest further, I slipped my hand inside his coat and removed the weapon, slipping it deep into the right side pocket of my trousers.  I moved him further away from the people on the right side of the entrance before I spoke again.  “Now, slowly, and without protest, raise the legs of your trousers.”  I had my hand on the weapon now in my pocket.  I glanced down and then spoke to Diana.
 
“Diana, there is an ankle holster on his right ankle.  Slowly remove the weapon and give it to me.”  She did as I requested and stepped away.  “Now, Mr. Ross, let us go and enjoy your cigarette.” 
 
As he lit up, I looked at him.  “Do you not think it considerate to offer the lady a cigarette?”  I prayed that if she accepted one, her hands would not shake.  He extended the pack, and she took one. 
 
He seemed surprised.  “She didn’t smoke when I knew her,” he offered in explanation.
 
Before Ross could extend his lighter, I pulled one from my own pocket, cupping my hand round the flame as she inhaled, her eyes flicking up to mine in gratitude.  I smiled at her over the flame.  She inhaled deeply and spoke to the open air between Ross and myself. 
 
“Thank you.”  Terry’s calling her ‘Lady’ is more than appropriate.  Grace under fire is one of the more admirable traits a person may have, and she possesses it in abundance.  It struck me suddenly that Diana had marshaled her troops as skillfully as a battle-proven general, protecting her flanks and her King whilst not allowing her enemy to realise her manoeuver until it was accomplished.  Having positioned her quarry, she launched her attack, impaling him on her stare.
 
“Listen to me and listen well.”  She began stabbing the air with her fingers holding the cigarette.  “Ward, Alex, Ross …whatever the hell your name is, you mean nothing to me.  What we had was years ago, and it’s dead and gone though I thank you for opening my eyes.” 
 
Her voice softened.  “What you did played a part in getting me ready for the rest of my life.  Thank you for that.  It hurt like hell at the time, but it made me look at what I wanted, who I really am. 
 
“Terry means the world to me, and we have no secrets.  Yes, he knows Ward Townsend is Alex Ross, and he knows my side of what happened.  With the slightest provocation on your part, he would forget your part in how he and I found each other and rip you limb from limb.  If you as much as blink at him or me from the wrong direction, I won’t be able to stop him.” 
 
Her last words to him were low and deadly.  “Don’t blink.” 
 
I offered her my arm.  She looked again at Ross as she ground out her cigarette in the ash bin.  I had never before seen a cigarette disintegrate in sand.  “I believe we’re ready to go back inside now.”  Ross stubbed out his own cigarette as Diana took my arm, and we stepped aside, allowing Ross to precede us into the restaurant. 
 
 
REAGAN
I watched Terry as Maximus, Dee, and Ward/Ross walked out the door and then made a hasty path to Terry’s side.  He appeared to be about half-an-inch from following them, and that did not need to happen.  I bumped him with my elbow, and he looked at me, pain clear in his eyes.
 
“Down, Boy.  Sit.  Stay.  I know you can follow commands at least as well as my dogs.”  He smiled then laughed a bit. 
 
“Is it that obvious?” 
 
“You let her handle it at the office; let her handle it now.  Max is with her, and she’ll be fine.  If Ward even looks as if he’s thinking of touching her, he’ll be missing that arm …right before she rips his dick off and shoves it down his throat.”  He nodded, giving me tacit permission to continue.
 
“Terry, I know this has been a rough couple of days for you, but you absolutely gave her the right reaction when she told you who Ross was.  She trusted you enough to be honest.  You need to trust her enough to handle this without your intervention.  I don’t think it necessary, but I’m going to say it anyway.  Stay civil, keep your temper, and don’t embarrass her by making an ass of yourself as Ward has.”  He nodded and put his arm round my shoulders, leaning down to kiss me on the cheek. 
 
“Thanks, Love.  I do know that I can always count on you to remind me of my better self.”
 
 
We survived dinner with no bloodshed though little cheer marked the occasion.
 
Terry had the final say after dinner.  He stood looking round the table.  “As this is Ross’s first and last dinner with TEO, let’s take this opportunity to wish him well in his future endeavours.”
 
 
DINO
I’d brought the contract termination letter with me to dinner …kind of figured I might need it.  If Terry didn’t fire the SOB, I was determined to sever all ties with him.  Hurt my best girl?  I don’t think so.  After Terry’s announcement, he and Dee left the rest of us and adjourned to the bar.  That left Max, Reags, Ellie, and me in the room with Ross.  I motioned the waiter over and looked at his name tag.
 
“Manuel …we need your signature as a witness on this letter.”
 
“Of course, Sir.”  I pulled the letter and a pen from my pocket, handing them to Ross.
 
“If you’ll just sign on the dotted line, Ms. Hughes and Mr. Gonzalez will witness it, and we can all go home.”  He didn’t say a word, just signed the letter terminating his association with Thorne, Espan, and O’Reilly.  He handed the pen to Ellie, and she signed it before passing the pen to Manuel.  I looked at everyone.
 
“I think that ties up all the loose ends.  Your copy will be in the mail tomorrow.”  Didn’t bother offering my hand.  Ross walked out of the room, and I followed him to the door where the stupid bastard turned to face me.
 
“I suppose you know all the sordid details.”
 
“I know you hurt Dee badly; I don’t need the details.  She has survived and thrived; hell, she may have even forgiven you.  She and Terry are making a life together.  I won’t have that threatened.”
 
“Pushing her away was the second worst thing that ever happened to me.” 
 
I watched as he walked past Dee and Tio without a glance in their direction, but, then, they didn’t appear to be looking at him either.  As Ross reached the door, Terry spoke to Diana.  She emphatically shook her head.  Terry looked over at me and raised his glass.  I nodded and went back inside.
 
 
 
 
 
 
NOTES

American Gothic	http://www.artic.edu/artaccess/AA_Modern/pages/MOD_5.shtml
A quiche in the car.	There was a joke circulating for a while regarding the President and Vice President having breakfast, and the President ordered “A quickie.”  The Vice President leant over and whispered, “It’s pronounced QUICHE, Sir.”